Title: A 'Grim' Fairy Tale?

Release Date: 2016-08-10

Document Date: 2003-12-19

Description: Humor about jargon in NSA writing.

Document: DYNAMIC PAGE -- HIGHEST POSSIBLE CLASSIFICATION IS
TOP SECRET // SI / TK // REL TO USA AUS CAN GBR NZL

(U) A 'Grim' Fairy Tale?
FROM: SIGINT Communications
Unknown
Run Date: 12/19/2003

(U//FOUO) The following was forwarded to SIGINT Communications (anonymously) in response
to the recent Trade Jargon: Got Your "Ears"? article.
(U) This touches on one of my pet peeves about NSA writing. See the attached - Little Red
Riding Hood as reported by an NSA writer:
(U) In a previous time frame, there was a little girl who lived with her mother in the vicinity of
(IVO) the edge of the forest. Her grandmother, who loved her very much, had made her a red
cloak with a hood, and she wore it so often that everyone called her Little Red Riding Hood
(LRRH).
One day her mother (A) said to her "Your grandma is ill and all alone in her cottage in the
forest, and I want you to take her this basket comprising cakes. Make sure you don't talk to any
U/I personnel on the way.
LRRH (B) set off on the path, and she had not gone very far before she met a wolf.
"Good morning," said the wolf (C) "Where are you going in your beautiful red cloak?"
B: "Myself is taking this basket comprising cakes to my grandma, who is ill in bed."
C: "Where does your grandma live?"
B: "In the cottage IVO the end of the path."
Now, the wolf was very hungry, and he wanted to eat LRRH there and then. But he heard a
woodcutter working nearby, and did not like the atmospherics, so he ran off. The wolf went
ASAP through the forest to the grandmother's cottage and conducted knocking activities on her
door.
"Who's there?" Grandma (D) called.
C: "It's LRRH, and I've brought you a basket comprising cakes." (TR NOTE: The probable wolf
spoke in as girlish a voice as he could.)
D: "Then perform lifting activity on the latch and let yourself in!"
The wolf performed lifting activity vis-a-vis the latch and bounded in and swallowed her in one
gulp. Then he put on her shawl and nightcap and climbed in to her bed. Before long LRRH came
to the cottage and performed rat-tat-tat knocking activity on the door.
C: "Who's there?"
B: "It's myself, Grandma, and I've contributed to bringing you a basket comprising cakes."
C: "Then conduct lifting activity on the latch and let yourself in." (TR NOTE: The probable wolf
pulled the possible quilt up to his chin.) LRRH conducted lifting activity on the latch and walked
into the cottage.
B: "Why, Grandma, what big eyes you've got."
C: "All the better to conduct seeing activities re you, my dear."

B: "And, Grandma, what big ears you've got."
C: "All the better to perform hearing on you, my dear."
B: "And, Grandma, what big teeth you've got."
C: "All the better to conduct eating activities!" (TR NOTE: A probable animal with a name similar
to that of a wolf possibly carried out jumping operations from the direction of the bed and ate
LRRH.)
Just then the woodcutter came by the cottage location and noticed that the door was in an open
status, so he looked in an inside direction. And when he saw the wolf conducting licking activites
with his chops, he performed ax cutting activity on the wolf's head. Then LRRH and her grandma
stepped out from inside the wolf, and after COB that day, LRRH never, ever held discussions
with U/I cadre again.
The moral of the story: How much would your kids goof on you if they knew how you wrote at
work?

"(U//FOUO) SIDtoday articles may not be republished or reposted outside NSANet
without the consent of S0121 (DL sid comms)."

DYNAMIC PAGE -- HIGHEST POSSIBLE CLASSIFICATION IS
TOP SECRET // SI / TK // REL TO USA AUS CAN GBR NZL
DERIVED FROM: NSA/CSSM 1-52, DATED 08 JAN 2007 DECLASSIFY ON: 20320108

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